Volunteer Kathy Stefano at the Share Ourselves distribution window in Costa Mesa

The impact of volunteers

Kathy Stefano’s journey to becoming a cherished volunteer at Share Ourselves began with her passion for serving others. A former teacher with a big heart for children, Kathy’s compassion and energy have led her to touch countless lives, whether through her work as a doula, as a volunteer, or as a crafter.  

From time spent teaching kindergarten and preschool, to a career in the bed-and-breakfast industry, Kathy’s adventurous spirit always led her to connect with her community. She continuously found new ways to uplift and bring joy to others, eventually leading her to Share Ourselves where she felt called to help in the food pantry and participate in the Adopt A Family program.  

“I’ve always loved kids, and being part of Adopt A Family was something that really wrapped around my heart,” Kathy explains. “There’s such a tremendous need and seeing all the donations—especially the bicycles—just blew me away. These families are often choosing between feeding their kids and paying rent. They’re not all experiencing homelessness or in extreme situations; they’re just doing the best they can.” 

For Kathy, volunteering at Share Ourselves is deeply personal, driven by a simple but powerful motto she keeps close to her heart: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” It’s a guiding principle that reflects her desire to make a tangible difference, not just for the organization but in the lives of the individuals she encounters daily. 

Kathy’s warmth and nurturing spirit extend beyond her work with Share Ourselves. For years, she has worked as a doula, supporting new parents and helping families navigate the overwhelming experience of caring for newborns. She’s also found ways to combine her love of crafting with her desire to give back. Years ago, she began making handmade dolls and teddy bears. She donates these thoughtfully crafted gifts to various organizations, bringing comfort to children facing difficult circumstances.  

Kathy volunteering at Family Service Night
Kathy volunteering at Family Service Night

Making connections 

She’s forged strong relationships with those she serves, including one with a woman named Paige who was experiencing homelessness. “I saw Paige several times at Share Ourselves, and I just felt this pull to get to know her,” Kathy recalls. As she took time to learn about Paige, she discovered they had attended the same high school in Northern California, albeit at different times. “We eventually became friends, and I watched her work hard to get off the streets. It’s connections like these that make everything worth it.”  

Through volunteering at the distribution window, Kathy has come to know many of the people who visit Share Ourselves. Take, for example, the man who used to come by asking for dental floss, specifically the “Glide” brand. At first, the request seemed small, almost humorous, but Kathy realized it symbolized something much deeper. He cared about his health and dignity, even amid personal hardship.  

As she learned more about his life, she discovered he had once graduated from USC and held a steady job, but his world turned upside down after the traumatic loss of his mother. Through these moments, she realized that the people who come to Share Ourselves are not defined by their current circumstances—they have lived rich lives and faced challenges just like anyone else. 

Another patient, a soft-spoken man in his 60s, once shared with Kathy how difficult it was for him to ask for food. He didn’t want to be reliant on anyone, but life had brought him to this point. Despite his circumstances, he was taking night classes and recently shared the exciting news that his team had won first place in a competition. His quiet determination struck Kathy deeply—here was someone striving for a better future, even while navigating the challenges of seeking help. 

Volunteering means more than providing food or necessities—it’s about connecting with people, listening to their stories, and offering them hope and dignity. It’s about being part of their journey, and in doing so, fulfilling that personal commitment to be the change Kathy wishes to see in the world. 

Kathy volunteering at Back to School
Kathy (5th from left) volunteering at Back to School backpack distribution

Lessons learned  

During the first night of a multicultural relationships class Kathy took at Orange Coast College, she learned a profound lesson. The professor explained that within a quarter of a second, we make assumptions about someone based on their appearance, how they speak, or even their living situation. This lesson stuck with Kathy. It’s something she reflects on regularly as she volunteers.  

“We all pass judgment within a quarter of a second,” Kathy says. “Whether it’s about someone’s hair, their skin color, the way they talk, or the fact they might live in their car.” It’s human nature, but she’s learned to pause and remind herself to see beyond first impressions. 

This lesson has deeply influenced how Kathy approaches the individuals who come to Share Ourselves. Rather than allowing those initial judgments to shape her interactions, she makes a conscious effort to see the whole person—to listen to their stories, understand their struggles, and offer them compassion. It’s this perspective that keeps her grounded in her volunteer work, reminding her that everyone deserves dignity, no matter their circumstances. Through her time at Share Ourselves, Kathy has learned that kindness, patience, and withholding judgment can make all the difference in someone’s life because in the end, we are more alike than we are different.